Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher:
Is this her first child?
Ca continue reading

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.” The guy leaves.

A f continue reading

In Vegas, a blond walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.

She returns and starts feeding the machine madly, continue reading

The Queen was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the royal stable, when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn’t be ignored.

“Oh dear,” said the Que continue reading

There was a bear running freely in the woods, as the bear was running
there was a rumbling going-on inside its tummy was aching due to
the food that it took. The bear then stopped beside a continue reading

A blonde girl comes home from school. Her mother asks what she learned?
“Well today we learned how to count. All the other girls could count to 10, but I could count to 20. Is that because continue reading

“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might n continue reading

Two guys, John and Norm, were standing at the gates
of heaven, waiting to get in. Norm turns to John and
asks, “What did you do to get here?”
John says, “I froze to continue reading

A guy is out with buddies – has a few drinks – is feeling a little bit frisky but, true to his wife, goes home.
He finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouth wide open, so
He continue reading

A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She’s not ready yet, so he has
to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a BAD case of gas and really
needs to relieve some p continue reading