The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out “The President Sucks.” Infuriated, he called on the secr continue reading

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, ‘We were the first in space!”
The American said, “We were the first on the moon!”
continue reading

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last 5p.

“I invested t continue reading

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the Police officer.
“No, continue reading

So this girl is coming home from school on a bus. She had to fart really bad and the music was really loud and she thought no one would hear it. So she farted and and kept doing it.
Continue reading “Girl on a Bus” »

A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house,
was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his
wife, lost his children and lost his job. He notices continue reading

Boy: “Dad there is a kid in school who keeps calling me gay!”

Dad: “Well!!!!! punch him hard!!!!!!!! ”

Boy: “But No Dad he is sooooooo cute !!!” continue reading

ak82n9qbvf A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw continue reading

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher:
Is this her first child?
Ca continue reading

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looks around the shop and says, “About 2 hours.” The guy leaves.

A f continue reading