Affair with a horse
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the
electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed
and they weren’t mine.”
His second friend says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the
plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.”
Paddy says: “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.” Both his
friends look at him with utter disbelief.
“No, I’m serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.”
He was LUCKY
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet
rural pub.
She gestures alluringly to the barman, who comes over
immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals
for him to bring his face close to hers.
When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard,
which is full and bushy.
“Are you the manager?” she asks, softly stroking his
face with both hands.
“Actually, no” he replies.
“Can you get him for me — I need to speak to him.”
She is running her hands up beyond his beard and
into his hair.
“I’m afraid that I can’t,” breathes the barman,
clearly aroused. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message,”
she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into
his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
“Tell him that there is no toilet,
paper in the ladies room.”
Before and After marriage
Before the marriage: (Top to bottom)
He: Yes. Atlast. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
{Now after the marriage. You can read it bottom to top leaving last line.}